The Golden Razzies!

Keeping with our non-stop award show coverage (please see our article about the porn awards), the Golden Razzies were announced yesterday. We tend to agree with these, accept we will always love Will Ferrell.

Tom Cruise may have survived a Martian attack in last year's remake of "War of the Worlds," but he has failed to elude Hollywood's movie police.

The actor was among the contenders announced on Monday for the annual Razzie Awards, which "honor" the worst achievements in film.

Cruise will compete for the year's worst actor award with Will Ferrell ("Bewitched," "Kicking & Screaming"), Jamie Kennedy ("Son of the Mask"), Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson ("Doom") and Rob Schneider ("Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo").

The nominees were announced by The Golden Raspberry Award Foundation, a tongue-in-cheek organization that claims more than 700 voting members.

Foundation head John Wilson said in an interview he did not think Cruise's portrayal of a working-class man in "War of the Worlds" was particularly credible.

While there were arguably worse performances, Cruise's off-screen antics, either in support of Scientology, or in the throes of passion with new girlfriend Katie Holmes, ensured he made the grade, Wilson said.

Indeed, Cruise was nominated twice in the new category of most tiresome tabloid target, which salutes "the celebs we're all sick and tired of," Wilson said.

Cruise is already a Razzie winner, sharing the honor with Brad Pitt for worst screen couple in "Interview with the Vampire." He was also nominated for the film "Cocktail."

Actresses Jenny McCarthy and Jessica Simpson also picked up three nominations. McCarthy was cited for worst actress, worst screen couple and worst screenplay for "Dirty Love." Simpson will also vie for worst screen couple, as well as worst supporting actress as Daisy Duke in "The Dukes of Hazard."

"Son of the Mask," a sequel to the 1994 Jim Carrey hit, led the nominated films with eight mentions. Unfortunately for the producers, Carrey did not reprise his role in the new film and no one went to see it.

"Dukes of Hazzard," which did well at the box office, received seven nominations.

Winners will be announced on March 4, the day before the Academy Awards. Last year's announcement was attended by Halle Berry, graciously taking her lumps for "Catwoman." We actually gave her a few lumps. We wish you all could have been there.

State of the Union

A friend of ours, James Adomian, who does quite possibly the best George Bush impersonation, has set up his own State of the Union address. Enjoy, as we will be adding a lot more content in the next few weeks, and we should have a gig soon as well, for those of you who would like to see Fencing With Archers play again.

AND NOW....

HOT SEX!!!!!!!

A Little Something

So the sketch group that we often perform with has put together a little short film for the net. It's super low budget, but high on comedy enjoy!

Enjoy!

For those of us who pay attention it doesn't take an idiot to see that the guys from The Lonely Island are about to take over the world, much like we are. Need proof:

It's Award Season!

Award season is upon us, and we love this time of year. Who do
wear? Who do we take? Which award show will have the best
after parties? We have a hunch, it was this one:

Cameras whirred and fans pressed 10 deep against a velvet rope in Las Vegas to catch a glimpse of their favorite stars sashaying into one of the first entertainment awards shows of the year.

As at any Hollywood awards ceremony, photographers asked the performers to twirl and pose, and reporters stationed along the red carpet begged for quips about the next project or the state of the industry.

But unlike the Golden Globes and Emmys, the goody bag contained "Barely Legal" playing cards and Hustler condoms, and the stars such as Arnold Schwartzenpecker and Britney Rears were not quite household names.

The 23rd annual Adult Video News (AVN) Awards, the Oscars of porn, boasted a higher attendance than ever this year, with more than 5,000 watching Saturday night's two-hour-long event in a huge ballroom at the ritzy Venetian Hotel.

The winners were as earnest and even as tearful as their Hollywood counterparts in their appreciation of the glass trophies they took home, and works such as "A Day Without Whores" and "Big Butt Road Trip" won fulsome praise.

Actor Manuel Ferrera, who picked up an award for Male Performer of the Year, drew laughs when he thanked "everyone, especially the ladies".

Best Film Actress winner Savanna Samson was cheered when she recognized the support of her peers as crucial because "most of my family is pretty ashamed of what I do."

Interviewers on the red carpet asked the usual questions but the answers were often as X-rated as the movies being honored.

One statuesque starlet, who appeared to be wearing nothing underneath her tight-fitting velvet dress, told an interviewer that she planned to planned to expand into "extreme anal" in the coming year.

Ron Jeremy, a portly porn super star, pledged to keep delivering the goods for his fans.
"I'm still working, not as much but as long as the penis works I'm going to exploit it," he said.

Porn is big business. Adult entertainment, including porn videos and films shot mainly in Southern California's San Fernando Valley, racked up estimated sales of $12.6 billion in 2005, according to statistics compiled by AVN.

That compared with U.S. theatrical revenue of $8.9 billion for mainstream Hollywood films, according to figures from box office tracking firm Exhibitor Relations.

Like Hollywood, the U.S. porn industry is dominated by a handful of privately held studios: Wicked Pictures, Vivid Entertainment, New Sensations, Digital Playground/Adam & Eve and porn queen Jenna Jameson's company, Club Jenna.

Unlike Hollywood, they do not disclose revenue or production costs, making it difficult to gauge the size and profitability of the industry.

The porn studios maintain stables of starlets and studs who can make a dozen or more films each year.

This year's most-nominated film was Digital Playground's "Pirates" starring AVN awards host Jesse Jane and a slew of beauties who do battle with a band of marauding skeletons in between sex scenes.

The movie walked away with the award for best video, while Vivid Entertainment's remake of "The Devil in Miss Jones" took best film honors.

Jameson, resplendent in a candy pink dress that barely restrained her bosom, claimed awards for "Miss Jones" and for Best Crossover Artist, and was inducted into AVN"s Hall of Fame.

Another famous pornographer, Larry Flynt, picked up a Hall of Fame Founders' award for free speech related to the industry, which has lately found itself under attack by President George W. Bush's administration over obscenity.

"Adult (entertainment) has gone to a $10 billion business, and it happened because it's a business that everybody cares about and takes seriously and I think we ought to remind the rest of the country about that," the wheelchair-bound Flynt said.

Thank you Larry Flynt by helping us remember that "Big Butt Road Trip" was made with love. This award show makes us ask so many questions, like what makes extreme anal "Extreme"? or what do clips do they show to showcase the best "actors"? Is it just five guys saying, "I'll show you something hard," over and over again? There's only one way to find out. See you next year!

Why Your Day Hasn't Sucked That Bad.

Here is some proof that even though you think you had a bad day today, it's always not as bad as it seems. You could be this guy. See you tomorrow.