We Couldn't Make This Up If We Tried!
Keeping with the theme of finding new ways to make money, we have found an actual job posting that blew our minds. First of all, all of the stories on this site are true, because we wouldn't cheat our hordes of fans, or our whore fans. But we really couldn't make this up. So if you are interested in this position and live in the great state of New Jersey (the Garden State always comes back to haunt us), this could be the perfect job for you. Enjoy!
Sorcerer's Apprentice
This is a FULL TIME Paid Internship
Location:
Wayne NJ
Date Posted:
5/25/2005 2:18:23 PM
Description:
Legendary performer carried to international fame as The World's Foremost Mentalist seeking a full-time apprentice for performance and office related duties. We offer great growth potential for the right stew. This mesmerizing, imaginative, and creative genius is timeless in his audience appeal. His charm, comedic wit, and musicianship creates a perfect tour de force evening brimming with hilarious scenarios richly embroidered with demonstrations of the power of the human mind.
Our ideal apprentice would feel comfortable in an intimate (small) working environment located in Northern New Jersey. As our Sorcerer’s Apprentice, an 11:00am-6:00pm Monday-Friday schedule must blend with 24/7 availability to accommodate our “as needed” schedule for meetings, interviews, performances etc. Current driver license and US Passport a must. Must live within 30 minutes of Wayne, New Jersey. The potion our apprentice must closely resemble would combine the following attributes: Professional and friendly demeanorDedicated and conscientious mannerDetails, deadlines, and organizational Skills
Requirements:
Performance & Travel related:*coordinate travel, lodging, stage set-up and sound check*review artist’s rider with venue*detailed notes on performances *maintain automobiles *can lift up to 50 lbs easily. Office related:*edit promotional materials for DVD/VHS *assist with Press Kits*update website information*local errands
Our Socerer's Apprentice will be hired on a three (3) month trial basis. At the end of your trial time, if we are impressed with your ability to handle the position in the manner we described earlier in this listing, you will be hired as a full-time permanent appprentice and a salary increase will be initiated. Periodic reviews, determined in part by your contribution to our mission, will be available.
If no one minds, we are going to apply for this position. Don't worry, we will fly back to Los Angeles for our shows, but this just seems like too good an opportunity to pass up. Who would have thought that the world of sorcery would entail light office duties? We guess anything is possible in the world of magic.
Sorcerer's Apprentice
This is a FULL TIME Paid Internship
Location:
Wayne NJ
Date Posted:
5/25/2005 2:18:23 PM
Description:
Legendary performer carried to international fame as The World's Foremost Mentalist seeking a full-time apprentice for performance and office related duties. We offer great growth potential for the right stew. This mesmerizing, imaginative, and creative genius is timeless in his audience appeal. His charm, comedic wit, and musicianship creates a perfect tour de force evening brimming with hilarious scenarios richly embroidered with demonstrations of the power of the human mind.
Our ideal apprentice would feel comfortable in an intimate (small) working environment located in Northern New Jersey. As our Sorcerer’s Apprentice, an 11:00am-6:00pm Monday-Friday schedule must blend with 24/7 availability to accommodate our “as needed” schedule for meetings, interviews, performances etc. Current driver license and US Passport a must. Must live within 30 minutes of Wayne, New Jersey. The potion our apprentice must closely resemble would combine the following attributes: Professional and friendly demeanorDedicated and conscientious mannerDetails, deadlines, and organizational Skills
Requirements:
Performance & Travel related:*coordinate travel, lodging, stage set-up and sound check*review artist’s rider with venue*detailed notes on performances *maintain automobiles *can lift up to 50 lbs easily. Office related:*edit promotional materials for DVD/VHS *assist with Press Kits*update website information*local errands
Our Socerer's Apprentice will be hired on a three (3) month trial basis. At the end of your trial time, if we are impressed with your ability to handle the position in the manner we described earlier in this listing, you will be hired as a full-time permanent appprentice and a salary increase will be initiated. Periodic reviews, determined in part by your contribution to our mission, will be available.
If no one minds, we are going to apply for this position. Don't worry, we will fly back to Los Angeles for our shows, but this just seems like too good an opportunity to pass up. Who would have thought that the world of sorcery would entail light office duties? We guess anything is possible in the world of magic.
posted by adrock at
9:36 AM
1 Comments:
Oi tell yu wot, this geezer sounds loike a fackin' ment'ulist fer puttin this advert up in the furst place.
Wot's it say: "Mesmerizing, imaginative and creative genius?"
Bollocks!
E's a cant wiv a cape.
That's roight, e's a facking cant wiv a cape.
An Oi'll bet e's got wun ov dem lit'ul bendy sticks dat e waves aroun in the air.
Wot a cant.
By
Anonymous, at 12:06 PM
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